Hello! I'm Pellaken, and I'm a little wonky

I met DoOdLeZ on another forum, and have decided to start posting at this forum as well.

To begin, am going to ask yous for some help. I'm assuming most of you are girls, which is great, cause thats with I need help with. I'm 18, but have never been out on a date, or seen a girl naked I did once get to do some stuff with a girl, but she dident want the lights on
Anyways, time as advanced, and new I have a new problem.
There's this girl that I know, and every so often, I ask her out, and she says no. Last night, I really felt as though I was really close, and that she might say yes, but I skrewed up, as usual. This girl is like perfect, for me anyways. She is somewhat agressive, she certainly knows what she wants, then gets it. She has fun all the time, and loves it. She is beautiful, and I'd do just about anything to get with her. Unfortunatly, she really dosent like me... seems to be a common theme in my life really.
I think she's a little affraid that I lack confidance, but unfortunatly, anyone who think's that really does not know me. I live in the moment, especially emotionally, and I'm very emotional. At this moment, yes, I am very uncondifant, because I dont have a girlfriend. Once I get one, I'll be feeting pretty invinsible, and you'll see a radical change in my confidance level. I think she's also worried about my confidance in the bedroom, but again, that is self-correcting, as by the time I get naked with a **** fine girl as her, I'll be feeling pretty good. I think my problem would be over-confidance if anything really, and that's not a good problem anyways.
I know this girl is perfect for me right now. She is everything that I need in my life at this time, everything. I also know that I, personally, am very compatable for her. The person she wants, the fun-loving guy who's not affraid to do anything, is who I am on the inside. I have never been able to get this person out, and it's been tearing me apart for years. It's been the source of all my conflicts and self-argument that has made me so depressed. I need someone, a girl, to help me get this part of me out. Without someone there, I am just too affraid to let myself be who I really am. I've had bad experinces in the past when I tried to have fun, and I have not been able to have fun for the better part of 4 years, and the past 4 years have been **** for me.
It hurts to be rejected by her again and again. It makes me feel very ugly. I cant see any other reason why she would be so adiment that we not even interact offline in great detail. What's worse, is that I know her personality could bring these parts of me out, and I know that if we went out, I could finally truly be happy. I feel so close, yet so far...
She also thinks that because she has issues that she will "skrew me up" but again, she really does not understand me. I like girlfriends with issues, because otherwise it dosent feel real. Everyone has issues, including me... I think this post is telling of that. She does have some pretty big issues, but I am ready and willing to help her through them. That's what really makes me happy and "Full" inside, is knowing that I am truly helping someone with stuff. I love having those few-hour long deep conversaitons with friends, about issues that nethier of us have told too many people. Its like I said, this girl is perfect for me, but she dosent even want to look at me...
It was so much easier, back in high-school, when the girl I wanted did not even talk to me, but I talk to this girl virtually every day, and its really tearing me apart.
anyways, after an emotional few hours last night, after I had got all my feelings out, I began to think logically. and really, I came to the realization that there's gotta be some girl, somewhere, that is willing to go out with me. All I really need to do, is to ask these girls out... but then we reach another problem, something I need some advice on.
I think I have the asking of a girl out, but now I need some tips on dating. I've never been out on a date before, so I'm a few years behind the norm here. I watch TV though, and have the jist of it down, but now I need some advice on the simple stuff, like how to know when to and not to kiss your date, etc...
so, if you guys could give me some pointers here, that'd be great!