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Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

This is absolutely hilarious and very cute!! Thank you and cant wait to see what happens next!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

I envision innocent (which is what I always see him as) Bingley standing in front of a full length mirror in his Shift and Stays lustfully running his hands down his/Lizzy ample curve-a-tious breasts down her waist over her hips and down to her center core. His eyes flutter as he passes out and crashes to the floor.
LOL!!!!
SmileyCentral.com
Though I must confess Mr Bingley's reaction in the story will be sth like...SmileyCentral.com
Plus he will be subjected to quite unexpected treatment from the part of his new sisters and his beau... The chapter is in the expert hands of my beta now. As soon as she finds time to have a look at it, it will be posted. But since she is struggling to get time to write her own story, you must be patient.
Thans for the idea Geri...and to you Lice, for taking time to comment. It is very flattering to see how many people feel like leaving their thoughts on this one. It certainly spurs me to keep writing...

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Laugh along, ladies and gents, with chapter 4 of Malena's hilarious "A Naughty Star".

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

"They were thinking of different mice, you know"
[ This keeps getting better and better.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

I nearly fell over laughung, at Bingley's 'missing manly parts', and how he reacted to Jane. I wonder that E doesn't figure out what happened sooner? Perhaps Bingley is more intelligent than we origionally thought? Thanks again! Hope to see another post soon!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Bingley with Jane at Longbourn did not disappoint--it was as funny as Elizabeth with Darcy Netherfield. I was a bit scandalized to find out that "Elizabeth" had been, apparently, fondling her sister all night as they slept in bed--Bingley of course thinking he was dreaming. But wasn't Jane a wee bit surprised at Elizabeth's intimate touching?

Reading on, I realized we cannot be sure of how intimate the touching was--maybe just a combination of not-so-scandalous reality and hyper fantasy on the part of the sleeping Bingley? Whatever it was, Jane apparently did not feel it was untoward, so I guess no foul, all fair.

Bingley realizing that he had "lost" something, too funny! Although you characterize him as not a bright guy, he was smart enough to figure our that his wish upon a star was at fault and he suspects (correctly?) that it will be temporary. But first, more hijinks, please!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

I wonder that E doesn't figure out what happened sooner? Perhaps Bingley is more intelligent than we origionally thought?
Bingley is more naive than Elizabeth. He is a kind of free spirit, boyish if you want...hence more prone to believe the unbelievable...like a child. If you told Bingley that you have seen an angel, he would probably look up at the sky.
Elizabeth on her part has her feet on the ground, so it is more difficult for her to believe in the supernatural. She was trying to find a reasonable explanation to what was happening to her.

I was a bit scandalized to find out that "Elizabeth" had been, apparently, fondling her sister all night as they slept in bed
So was I ...was not sure whether the scene would bother anyone...but as you put it, we will never know the extent of Bingley's real activities amidst the sheets... Jane is too good even to realise what was going on...Also she was sleeping all the time.
But Bingley is a gentleman...I am sure he will not repeat the yielding of favours while in Elizabeth's skin.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Love the missing mice. This chapter was so so funny, Malena! Lizzy at Longbourn should be very amusing. Looking forward to it!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

oh my, what an amazing story it is
love it

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

hahaha ...you woke up the whole Bennets household to look for Bingley's balls a.k.a mice ...i almost died laughing when someone (was that Lydia?) said.."Mice? You mean two? Lord!" ... so whats next a private meeting between "Bingley"& "Lizzy" imagine the jealous/outrage reactions they will be getting

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena I was laughing so hard my daughter's husband thought I was crying.

What a great chapter. See know we know why I don't write where you went was so much better.

Darcy is going to have to get suspicious when Bingley all of a sudden can hold a literary conversation.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

That was hilarious! The whole scene at the Bennets' had me in tears. Poor Bingley! Thankfully, as you said, he's a gentleman and won't take advantage of this situation the next time... Now Lizzy is going to Longbourn, "on foot" I wonder how will they react when they meet.

Can't wait for your next post!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

The picture of all the Bennet girls, holding up their night dresses and screaming was hysterical. Then Mr. Bennet and Hill with the brooms was just too much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You've made my evening!

-Ruth

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

So Bingley has the best night of his life and Jane simply... sleeps ?
Bingley's morning meeting with the Bennet clan was hilarious ! Please update soon !

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

"The picture of all the Bennet girls, holding up their night dresses and screaming was hysterical. Then Mr. Bennet and Hill with the brooms was just too much"

Exactly! Everytime I picture that scene I lose it

I can't wait to see Elizabeth's confrontation with....herself

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

My dears, chapter 5 of this hilarious story has just been posted. Enjoy!

R~ <- still

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

"Once he had figured out all that the rest was not half as difficult" Charles to the rescue!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

LOL! I can't wait to see Caroline get what she deserves. This was a wonderful chapter. I loved having Lizzy's mouth spouting Bingley's words. Delightful!!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Thank you for another chapter. If Jane has a brain she must be quite cofussed by Lizzy/Bingley's comments.

I'm dying to see how Bing/Lizzy and Lizzy/Bing receive each other.

Need I say more please.
Geri

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

excellent!!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Hilarious, as always, Malena. Mr Collins got his just desserts, I love love love that. The nerve!

Finally Bingley finds out right on time about his scheming sister's plans. What is she/he going to do about it?...

And finally, Lizzy/Bings is on his/her way to Longbourn, but we know how she likes to walk cross-country. So, it makes me wonder... are they going to meet along the road, or are they going to miss the chance? Can't wait to find out!

Thank you!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Love this story!
Imaging izzy trying to escape out the window was too funny
Will Bingley & Lizzy have a chance to compare notes!
And how will Bingley get Lizzy to change her mind about Darcy!

Can't wait for more!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Awesome chapter ! That was hilarious ! So many things happened ! Poor Bingley, to be kissed by the slimy toad ! So will Bingley and Elizabeth meet ? Will Bingley tell Darcy that Elizabeth hates his guts ? Or will he try to convince Elizabeth that she is wrong about Darcy ? I can't wait to find out !

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena, I've been too busy to reply, but this story just keep getting funnier and funnier. I'm enjoying myself immensely.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

EllenG
... this story just keep getting funnier and funnier. I'm enjoying myself immensely.


I couldn't agree more. When posting a new installment I'm chuckling or all the way through. It's clever, original and sooooo utterly funny and entertaining. A story to cherish forever.

...which reminds me of another story to cherish forever... What about a little bit more of SD, my dearest Ellen?

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena it has been awhile will you be updating soon?
Geri

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Here you go, Geri and all other fans, chapter 6 has been posted on Malena's pages. It's hilarious, Mrs Darcy couldn't stop laughing... and so sweet at the same time. *sighs with contentment*

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

I loved, loved, loved this chapter ! It's hilarious ! I love the awkwardness Elizabeth feels in a man's body, the way she fights her attraction to Darcy, you write Darcy and Bingley's rapport beautifully, they look so comfortable and easy together, their friendship rings so true ! It seems Darcy is very close to the truth, I hope he realizes pretty soon that his gut instinct is right, it will make things even better !

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Bingley/Lizzy squatting to pee, Darcy watching him I can't wait for Darcy to see them together and how they act. He'll figure it out on his own but will he help them? Very funny.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

This was syuch a funny chapter! Loved Bingley calling him "Sir" & "Mr Darcy" and Elizabeth calling him "Darcy." And the scene in the woods was priceless!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! Oh, absolutely brilliant! You really made my day!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

brillant! this story is so funny and witty
love it
cathy

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Those around me thought I had become suddenly deranged I was laughing so hard. But the funniest line had to be the very last of the post.

More, please--gotta see how Darcy reacts to Elizabeth's enthusiastic greeting. I can imagine, but yours has proven so much funnier!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

As always, hilarious!! But how could you leave it there?! Please, post soon!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

can't stop laughing! please post soon.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Darcy you have come says Elizabeth. Oh dear I lmao. Will Darcy figure it out?
Geri

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena,

Oh, this was too much fun!

If Darcy was suspicious, Elizabeth (Bingley's) greeting of him must make him even more so!

Love it! Can't wait for more! (Although I love 'Parson Pleasure' too!)

Hugs,

-Ruth

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

This is laugh out loud funny!!!! Thank you so much!!!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

[...] yet her figure, her voice, her scent had already unleashed a little storm within his pantaloons [...]




Rush over to Malena's pages, my dears, another hilarious chapter of A Naughty Star has just been posted. Enjoy!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Loved the word "sternutation", a new one. Bingley going off with Lizzy. Darcy in an uproar both in body and mind. Too funny. More please.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

This story just keeps getting better and better! The interaction between Darcy and "Elizabeth" was classic. I was so glad to see that you posted this chapter so soon. Can't wait for the next one!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Loved the word "sternutation", a new one.
That is excellent, dearest. Actually, my beta suggested that I should change it, but I decided to take a chance and keep it against her advise. It sounds academic.I am relieved you guys got the meaning.It is similar to 'estornudar', which is the Spanish for sneeze.

The interaction between Darcy and "Elizabeth" was classic.
I purposely re read those lines that belonged to Bingley. In the BBC 1995 series, featuring Colin Firth and Crispin Bonham Carter, he asked the line "Have I your approval?" al least twice to Mr Darcy. That is why I included that line. I can even see Mr Bingley, clad in pink lace, flashing a smile to Darcy as he asked for his approval.

Thank you girls. I love commenting the story after each post!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

" Look at me. Miss Bennet herself helped me into this frock. It is a little tight, especially here (he touched the front of the dress where it pushed her bosom upwards). "
That chapter was hilarious !

"Charles" and "Elizabeth"'s conversation was so funny ! Darcy and the Bennet sisters must think them mad ! the way Charles trusts Darcy's ability to see through his appearance is really cute !

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

alienor4
"Charles" and "Elizabeth"'s conversation was so funny ! Darcy and the Bennet sisters must think them mad ! the way Charles trusts Darcy's ability to see through his appearance is really cute ![/quote


Thank you! I am indeed, trying to keep their personalities untouched. Bingley is so naive, that he is not even worried about his situation, and he has infinite faith in his friend and mentor, Mr Darcy. I must say it takes quite a lot of time to meditate on how Austen's characters would react, because it is very easy to invent them a new personality. But it is worth the effort. Your enjoyment is my reward.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

It's hard to select what make me choke most with laughter in this chapter, but I think it was Bingley and Elizabeth each offering each other an arm and then figuring which one is the gentleman who gets to offer an arm, before they walk off together. What will Darcy and the Bennet sisters think about such a tete-a-tete between Bingley and Elizabeth?

And with Darcy worried that Elizabeth will try wield some arts and allurements over him

Her open mentioning of his admiration proved that if not completely deranged, Miss Elizabeth was well aware of her power over him, and had made up her mind to use it against him. Good Lord. He sincerely hoped he had not created any sort of undesired expectations.
how soon before he stops fighting his feelings? Only to find that the real Elizabeth really hates him??

Also, I agree with the other reader, excellent use of the word sternutation. Once I looked it up, I realized it is perfect imagery for what happened to Darcy as his friend in Elizabeth's body touched him. In fact, you have descrbed this scene so visually I saw it unfold in my mind's eye.

Love this story and looking forward to the next post!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Lacy
It's hard to select what make me choke most with laughter in this chapter, but I think it was Bingley and Elizabeth each offering each other an arm and then figuring which one is the gentleman who gets to offer an arm, before they walk off together. What will Darcy and the Bennet sisters think about such a tete-a-tete between Bingley and Elizabeth?

And with Darcy worried that Elizabeth will try wield some arts and allurements over him
Her open mentioning of his admiration proved that if not completely deranged, Miss Elizabeth was well aware of her power over him, and had made up her mind to use it against him. Good Lord. He sincerely hoped he had not created any sort of undesired expectations.
how soon before he stops fighting his feelings? Only to find that the real Elizabeth really hates him??

Also, I agree with the other reader, excellent use of the word sternutation. Once I looked it up, I realized it is perfect imagery for what happened to Darcy as his friend in Elizabeth's body touched him. In fact, you have descrbed this scene so visually I saw it unfold in my mind's eye.

Love this story and looking forward to the next post!


Lacy, it is comments of this kind what keeps an author trying over and over to make each chapter better than the previous one.Undoubtedly,I am more than pleased with your review. It certainly helps me to see where this story may go from here onwards...it's a WIP so anything can happen. But your observation (till he finds that Elizabeth hates him...) has certainly reminded me of precisely that. Elizabeth must hate him. So provably Mr Bingley will have to have an encounter with Colonel Fitzwilliam!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Oh my you had me laughing so hard in this chapter I scared the puppy. I am surprised that Lizzy/Bing isn't angry with how Bingley/Liz portrayed her.

The other Bennet girls in shock at Bing/Eliz behavor. I have to say it is hard when they are together keep it straight which one is which.

More please soon

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

This getting funner & weirder and I like that. Loved the part about Bingley's stays!!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Thanks Geri and Lucy
I am not surprised people or pets getting shocked while you guys read the story. It happens to me while I am writing it. ] I laugh so hard my husbands looks at me in his own quizzical way. Sometimes I come with an idea while doing the washing up, so you can imagine...

Geri,Mr Bingley and Miss Elizabeth are teh impersonations while every time I say plainly Elizabeth or Bingley, I am refering to them and not their incarnation.

Lucy, can you imagine Darcy's look on hearing Miss Elizabeth saying such outragious thing? Next there will be a bastly vexed Darcy, you'll see.
Thanks for commenting!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Oh, Malena, this is too rich!!!! RFLMAO!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena,

This was simply brilliant. Darcy's discomposure was described with hilarious perfection. The horror at 'Miss Elizabeth's familiarity combined with the pleasure of her attentions had me laughing out loud. Finally, the exchange of 'Miss Elizabeth's and 'Mr. Bingley's at the end was priceless.

I can not wait for more.

-Ruth

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