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Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena, I've been too busy to reply, but this story just keep getting funnier and funnier. I'm enjoying myself immensely.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

"Once he had figured out all that the rest was not half as difficult" Charles to the rescue!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

LOL! I can't wait to see Caroline get what she deserves. This was a wonderful chapter. I loved having Lizzy's mouth spouting Bingley's words. Delightful!!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

EllenG
... this story just keep getting funnier and funnier. I'm enjoying myself immensely.


I couldn't agree more. When posting a new installment I'm chuckling or all the way through. It's clever, original and sooooo utterly funny and entertaining. A story to cherish forever.

...which reminds me of another story to cherish forever... What about a little bit more of SD, my dearest Ellen?

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena it has been awhile will you be updating soon?
Geri

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Here you go, Geri and all other fans, chapter 6 has been posted on Malena's pages. It's hilarious, Mrs Darcy couldn't stop laughing... and so sweet at the same time. *sighs with contentment*

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

I loved, loved, loved this chapter ! It's hilarious ! I love the awkwardness Elizabeth feels in a man's body, the way she fights her attraction to Darcy, you write Darcy and Bingley's rapport beautifully, they look so comfortable and easy together, their friendship rings so true ! It seems Darcy is very close to the truth, I hope he realizes pretty soon that his gut instinct is right, it will make things even better !

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Bingley/Lizzy squatting to pee, Darcy watching him I can't wait for Darcy to see them together and how they act. He'll figure it out on his own but will he help them? Very funny.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

This was syuch a funny chapter! Loved Bingley calling him "Sir" & "Mr Darcy" and Elizabeth calling him "Darcy." And the scene in the woods was priceless!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! Oh, absolutely brilliant! You really made my day!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

brillant! this story is so funny and witty
love it
cathy

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Those around me thought I had become suddenly deranged I was laughing so hard. But the funniest line had to be the very last of the post.

More, please--gotta see how Darcy reacts to Elizabeth's enthusiastic greeting. I can imagine, but yours has proven so much funnier!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

As always, hilarious!! But how could you leave it there?! Please, post soon!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

can't stop laughing! please post soon.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Darcy you have come says Elizabeth. Oh dear I lmao. Will Darcy figure it out?
Geri

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena,

Oh, this was too much fun!

If Darcy was suspicious, Elizabeth (Bingley's) greeting of him must make him even more so!

Love it! Can't wait for more! (Although I love 'Parson Pleasure' too!)

Hugs,

-Ruth

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

This is laugh out loud funny!!!! Thank you so much!!!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

[...] yet her figure, her voice, her scent had already unleashed a little storm within his pantaloons [...]




Rush over to Malena's pages, my dears, another hilarious chapter of A Naughty Star has just been posted. Enjoy!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Loved the word "sternutation", a new one. Bingley going off with Lizzy. Darcy in an uproar both in body and mind. Too funny. More please.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

This story just keeps getting better and better! The interaction between Darcy and "Elizabeth" was classic. I was so glad to see that you posted this chapter so soon. Can't wait for the next one!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Loved the word "sternutation", a new one.
That is excellent, dearest. Actually, my beta suggested that I should change it, but I decided to take a chance and keep it against her advise. It sounds academic.I am relieved you guys got the meaning.It is similar to 'estornudar', which is the Spanish for sneeze.

The interaction between Darcy and "Elizabeth" was classic.
I purposely re read those lines that belonged to Bingley. In the BBC 1995 series, featuring Colin Firth and Crispin Bonham Carter, he asked the line "Have I your approval?" al least twice to Mr Darcy. That is why I included that line. I can even see Mr Bingley, clad in pink lace, flashing a smile to Darcy as he asked for his approval.

Thank you girls. I love commenting the story after each post!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

" Look at me. Miss Bennet herself helped me into this frock. It is a little tight, especially here (he touched the front of the dress where it pushed her bosom upwards). "
That chapter was hilarious !

"Charles" and "Elizabeth"'s conversation was so funny ! Darcy and the Bennet sisters must think them mad ! the way Charles trusts Darcy's ability to see through his appearance is really cute !

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

alienor4
"Charles" and "Elizabeth"'s conversation was so funny ! Darcy and the Bennet sisters must think them mad ! the way Charles trusts Darcy's ability to see through his appearance is really cute ![/quote


Thank you! I am indeed, trying to keep their personalities untouched. Bingley is so naive, that he is not even worried about his situation, and he has infinite faith in his friend and mentor, Mr Darcy. I must say it takes quite a lot of time to meditate on how Austen's characters would react, because it is very easy to invent them a new personality. But it is worth the effort. Your enjoyment is my reward.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

It's hard to select what make me choke most with laughter in this chapter, but I think it was Bingley and Elizabeth each offering each other an arm and then figuring which one is the gentleman who gets to offer an arm, before they walk off together. What will Darcy and the Bennet sisters think about such a tete-a-tete between Bingley and Elizabeth?

And with Darcy worried that Elizabeth will try wield some arts and allurements over him

Her open mentioning of his admiration proved that if not completely deranged, Miss Elizabeth was well aware of her power over him, and had made up her mind to use it against him. Good Lord. He sincerely hoped he had not created any sort of undesired expectations.
how soon before he stops fighting his feelings? Only to find that the real Elizabeth really hates him??

Also, I agree with the other reader, excellent use of the word sternutation. Once I looked it up, I realized it is perfect imagery for what happened to Darcy as his friend in Elizabeth's body touched him. In fact, you have descrbed this scene so visually I saw it unfold in my mind's eye.

Love this story and looking forward to the next post!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Lacy
It's hard to select what make me choke most with laughter in this chapter, but I think it was Bingley and Elizabeth each offering each other an arm and then figuring which one is the gentleman who gets to offer an arm, before they walk off together. What will Darcy and the Bennet sisters think about such a tete-a-tete between Bingley and Elizabeth?

And with Darcy worried that Elizabeth will try wield some arts and allurements over him
Her open mentioning of his admiration proved that if not completely deranged, Miss Elizabeth was well aware of her power over him, and had made up her mind to use it against him. Good Lord. He sincerely hoped he had not created any sort of undesired expectations.
how soon before he stops fighting his feelings? Only to find that the real Elizabeth really hates him??

Also, I agree with the other reader, excellent use of the word sternutation. Once I looked it up, I realized it is perfect imagery for what happened to Darcy as his friend in Elizabeth's body touched him. In fact, you have descrbed this scene so visually I saw it unfold in my mind's eye.

Love this story and looking forward to the next post!


Lacy, it is comments of this kind what keeps an author trying over and over to make each chapter better than the previous one.Undoubtedly,I am more than pleased with your review. It certainly helps me to see where this story may go from here onwards...it's a WIP so anything can happen. But your observation (till he finds that Elizabeth hates him...) has certainly reminded me of precisely that. Elizabeth must hate him. So provably Mr Bingley will have to have an encounter with Colonel Fitzwilliam!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Oh my you had me laughing so hard in this chapter I scared the puppy. I am surprised that Lizzy/Bing isn't angry with how Bingley/Liz portrayed her.

The other Bennet girls in shock at Bing/Eliz behavor. I have to say it is hard when they are together keep it straight which one is which.

More please soon

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

This getting funner & weirder and I like that. Loved the part about Bingley's stays!!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Thanks Geri and Lucy
I am not surprised people or pets getting shocked while you guys read the story. It happens to me while I am writing it. ] I laugh so hard my husbands looks at me in his own quizzical way. Sometimes I come with an idea while doing the washing up, so you can imagine...

Geri,Mr Bingley and Miss Elizabeth are teh impersonations while every time I say plainly Elizabeth or Bingley, I am refering to them and not their incarnation.

Lucy, can you imagine Darcy's look on hearing Miss Elizabeth saying such outragious thing? Next there will be a bastly vexed Darcy, you'll see.
Thanks for commenting!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Oh, Malena, this is too rich!!!! RFLMAO!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena,

This was simply brilliant. Darcy's discomposure was described with hilarious perfection. The horror at 'Miss Elizabeth's familiarity combined with the pleasure of her attentions had me laughing out loud. Finally, the exchange of 'Miss Elizabeth's and 'Mr. Bingley's at the end was priceless.

I can not wait for more.

-Ruth

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Dear Ellen and Ruth,
To be so regularly praised by two well known fan-fic authoresses is no small thing to me. I thank you both and hope to keep up with expectations.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena,

Your writing is simply brilliant! My husband thinks I'm insane - I can't control my laughter while reading this wonderful story. Thank goodness Bingley and Elizabeth found each other...but I am concerned for Jane and Darcy as well. What hilarity!

Great job and many thanks for the smiles!
Susan

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

sadriani
Malena,

My husband thinks I'm insane - Susan


That is nothing new. Mine thinks I am insane too.
Thank you Susan, for commenting. It means a lot to my ego.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

I think all of our husband think we're insane. That's ok. We intrigue them anyway and they love us for it.
Loving your wonderful story.

teb

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

chapter 8 is up, my dears, and what a wonderful chapter it is. Enjoy!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Renée O
chapter 8 is up, my dears, and what a wonderful chapter it is. Enjoy!

I forgot to acknowledge some lines I borrowed from Mansfield Park, the keen Austen reader will not fail to discover...
Enjoy!!!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

very interesting twist that Jane & Darcy could be jealous over a bond between Bingley & Elizabeth!
Can't wait to see what our confused couples do next!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Thankfully L/B could give B/L an explanation of Darcy's behaviour and now is going to tell a secret of Caro's. Jane and Darcy, a little jealous of them going of together. Malena, more please.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Gayle Mills
Thanks for the story update, Malena. What a wonderful Saturday surprise! This story is charming.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Although this chapter did not make me roll with laughter as previous chapters did, it was intensely interesting, engaging and satisfying. I kept stopping to imagine Bingley's words coming out of Elizabeth's mouth--like when he told her he would not look at her body anymore (and yes, that was a chuckle)--and Elizabeth's words coming out of Bingley's mouth (when she adamantly refused to believe that Darcy could be taken with her).

Will Darcy and Jane overhear any of this? Whatever would they make of the conversation between the switched identities? Both Darcy and Jane seem to bee feeling a little jealous of what looks like attraction between Bingley and Elizabeth? If they only knew the truth. . . I'm especially sorry for Jane because it would hurt her tender heart to think that not only has Bingley defected--but to her beloved sister?!! Knowing Jane, she'll probably find a way to forgive both of them. . .

As usual, I'm dying for the next chapter. This is so good. You left us just as some secret was about to be revealed about Caroline--will it be funny or pivotal to your plot or both?

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

These reviews must be the most relieving ones I have received so far. I found writing this chapter a most difficult exertion, since I did not wish to become repetitive with the scenes...Writing comedy is one of the most challenging styles, I have found out...But readers like you make the effort worthwhile.. Thank you all.

As to your questions Lacy...Of course I will do my best to make it as comical as possible, but this is in connection with Jane's showing "Bingley" Caroline's letter, which enraged the gentleman..remember? So we can expect revenge here. Any suggestions?

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena I love Bingley way of explain gentlemen and even more his explaination of Darcy.

Now the plan is Eliz/Bing is to stay close to Darcy. and Bing/Eliza is to not look at her body and stay out of Janes Bed. Love it.

Now how could you leave us right when Bingley was going to tell about his sister Caroline?

Geri

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Posted by Sadie

sadieo
I have to say that I was so happy to see another post! I LOVE this story and think that it holds so much promise and humor... Thank you for sharing that with us!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Malena,

I just adored Bingley's talk with Elizabeth and his insight on Darcy. I have a new respect for him, lol! And the fact that he thinks they will learn a lesson and then become transformed back to their own bodies...I would like to think that is true, but I can imagine it might take longer than they think. I suspect that Bingley and Elizabeth aren't the only ones with lessons to learn. ;)

Thank you, Malena!
Susan

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

geri
Malena I love Bingley way of explain gentlemen and even more his explaination of Darcy.

Now the plan is Eliz/Bing is to stay close to Darcy. and Bing/Eliza is to not look at her body and stay out of Janes Bed. Love it.

Now how could you leave us right when Bingley was going to tell about his sister Caroline?

Geri

Well Geri, as regards Bingley's explanation of Darcy's character, I took it from an interview to my dear Colin Firth,aka Mr Darcy. It is his own interpretation of the character. I just loved it when I read it and decided to include it in the chapter...
Thank you fro commenting my dear. Next chapter is already in the oven...

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Renée O
Posted by Sadie

sadieo
I have to say that I was so happy to see another post! I LOVE this story and think that it holds so much promise and humor... Thank you for sharing that with us!


I was just as happy to have finally finished this chapter! It was taking too long, seriously! I was beginning to think the muse had left me. Cross fingers for some humorous brainwave for the next!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

Lovely chapter, the younger Bennet girls were both hilarious and infuriating, just like in the book ! I must admit I like to see poor Jane miserable, disappointed in her sister and territorial , it makes her more human !
Thanks for this insight in Darcy’s psyche, seeing him ready to explode when he is convinced he is as in control as ever is so much fun ! I think he has a lot of nerve : “Bingley”’s slight of Jane is “aboninably evident” ! he should talk !

I like this competition theory, because men really think like that. I’m surprised that Darcy gave up so easily though, especially since he thinks he deserves to be the winner : Bingley gets one dance with Jane and the competition is over ? I understand Darcy’s choice to give up on Elizabeth after Hunsford given the fight they had, but this "you saw her first / you danced with her first" attitude is so immature !

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

sadriani
Malena,

I just adored Bingley's talk with Elizabeth and his insight on Darcy. I have a new respect for him, lol! And the fact that he thinks they will learn a lesson and then become transformed back to their own bodies...I would like to think that is true, but I can imagine it might take longer than they think. I suspect that Bingley and Elizabeth aren't the only ones with lessons to learn. ;)

Thank you, Malena!
Susan

Sorry to have taken so long to answer you, my friend. Indeed, you are right. But I think that Darcy's and Elizabeth's (particularly this latter) are the most difficult lessons to learn, don't you agree?

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

alienor4
Lovely chapter, the younger Bennet girls were both hilarious and infuriating, just like in the book ! I must admit I like to see poor Jane miserable, disappointed in her sister and territorial , it makes her more human !
Thanks for this insight in Darcy’s psyche, seeing him ready to explode when he is convinced he is as in control as ever is so much fun ! I think he has a lot of nerve : “Bingley”’s slight of Jane is “aboninably evident” ! he should talk !

I like this competition theory, because men really think like that. I’m surprised that Darcy gave up so easily though, especially since he thinks he deserves to be the winner : Bingley gets one dance with Jane and the competition is over ? I understand Darcy’s choice to give up on Elizabeth after Hunsford given the fight they had, but this "you saw her first / you danced with her first" attitude is so immature !


I think Darcy is not aware of the fact that he is so competitive. Bingley is because he has till now always come second, or more...I needed someone to tell you about it so I made him so insightful...I am the writer, I have the right to do whatever I want with him . Darcy, at that stage was not interested on either. It was just the fact that Bingley was with the most beautiful girl and he pretended to make Darcy dance with a second best looking girl, that bothered him. But beyond that he was perfectly happy. Had Bingley danced with Elizabeth, Darcy would have probably danced with Jane ONCE and then forget about her.

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

I cannot wait to see what he says about Caroline. This should be fun. Actually the whole story has been a riot so far!

Re: A Naughty Star by Malena

So he promises to not sleep with her. And she promises to stay close to him.

This is going to be a lot of fun especially since Darce and Jane are thinking the other couple are bonding. And of course they would want to talk to each other every time they see each other, but not for reasons Darce and Jane think.

Oh, what a hooplah!
This is wonderful

I also can't wait to find out the goods on Caroline

teb

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