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"His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

I've just posted the Prologue of Ellen G's new story "His Brother's Keeper". You can tell Ellen what you think of her new story in this thread. Enjoy!

R~

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

I always welcome a new story and this one look to be really interesting. Can't wait for Darcy to meet Lizzy and how the sparks will fly

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Very promising I can't wait for the next parts.

I hope only, that the interactions between Darcy and Elisabeth will be different than in Austen's P&P. What I mean is, that I hope it will be not Austen story: the only difference in Georgiana’s marital status; but I hope it will be YOUR story, and it will flow differently.

Can't wait...

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Oooo, this looks promising. I'm curious to see how Darcy will treat the inhabitants of Meryton, when he is in shame and fearful of disapprobation from anyone in society.

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

I like the intro. Very different and refreshing. I hope Lizzy and Darcy get off to a good start. I'd like to read something alittle different from the usual Fanfic stories that stick too closely to JA's version. Looking forward to the next chapter!!!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Excellent start, I will eagerly look forward to seeing where this will go. Poor little Georgie, what has she done.

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Whoa! Ellen's story is off with a bang! Uck! Makes me shudder to think of Wickham married to dear sweet Georgiana. We can only hope he is killed for cheating at cards are for cuckolding some gentleman's wife. Methinks Georgiana will be happiest as a widow. The question is, does Ellen feel the same way?

I can't tell you how happy I am to see another story started so soon! Yay, Ellen!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Interesting premise. However, I feel uncomfortable about Darcy's reaction to G's elopement. Feels very cold-hearted and cruel, with Darcy only concerned about how being brother to Wickam will effect Pemberly's entail and society's view of himself. Darcy's mentioned concern about G's doubtful happiness seems almost a side-thought. Surely Darcy would try to employ all the resources available to him and more besides, to break his only sister out of the marriage or at least to separate her from W? He may not necessarily succeed, of course, but an attempt at least. I suppose the reason this Darcy bothers me is because the prologue has not indicated that he's even tried to help his sister after the elopement; rather, he's essentially written her off, regretful though he may be to do so. He seems too level-headed about the whole affair, and it is strange - and appalling - how the need for an heir is the first thing on his mind right now, rather than his sister's happiness. I'm not sure Elizabeth deserves a man liks this.

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

That was fantastic! I felt a mixture of nervousness and dread as I read, and when I finally learned who was getting married, my heart sank for Georgiana. Looking forward to the next one!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Thanks to all who commented! I knew I was opening a can of worms with this story, and you've given me a lot to think about before I post Chapter 1.

Special note to CN: I've given your very valid concerns a lot of thought. One important thing I hope you'll consider is that three weeks have passed between the Wickhams' wedding and Darcy's visit with his solicitor. Although it's not explicit, this is not his first reaction to the elopement, just the first time he's hearing that he must get married -- that's why he's thinking mostly about himself at this moment -- and just one more in a long list of reasons why the marriage is such a disaster. He has already had time to assimilate the knowledge about the wedding and perhaps take some action on it .

In any case, I hope you'll not lose hope, and that you'll keep reading. Remember, when Darcy first proposed to Elizabeth in the original, he wasn't yet the man she deserved, either.

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Do not feel so very concerned by readers' opinions. It is YOUR story.Keep up with your excellent job and enjoy it. I do.Besides, Mr Darcy is not real and you can make him fall and rise as much as you wish him to. As long as he keeps being tall, and gourgeous and proud of course...

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Thanks, Eli. Biiiiiiiig hug!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

You are most welcome darling...by the way... what about chapter 2?

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Chapter 1 is up. Enjoy!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Very promising prologue and a very hooking chpater... can't wait for more...
I hope of course that a honnest conversation is in your schedule... but I suppose that would be too simple... and some angst is in order...:-)

Do I get from the 'trailer' on the news page that further chapters are already written ?
Thanks !

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Oh lord!!! Poor Darcy. Even though I know it's coming, every time I read of his slight to Elizabeth at the assembly I still cringe. Part of me is shouting at him trying to get his attention before he opens his mouth 'NO, don't do it!!' But, alas, he commences digging himself a hole, climbs into it then keeps on digging...

Let's hope that this Elizabeth is kind enough to give him another chance without too much suffering. Poor man is about on his last nerve already.

Lovin' this one, Ellen!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Wonderful style, your writing is easy to read and subtly amusing. I look forward to more.

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Great job Ellen. So now at least Mr Darcy knows what she thinks of him very straightforwardly!!!How good of her to spit it at his face!!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Darcy, you deserved it! Lets see how you are going to make the lady change her mind

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Teasing, teasing woman....
I do hope to see Georgiana soon....

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

chapter 2 is up. Enjoy!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

What lovely picture of Elizabeth...., like a solitary nymph rambling in solitude...I just loved it. And Mr Darcy peering at her in such a manner! What a reverie to have! Excellent. The story is getting better and better. I hold on the line every day for new chapters!
Thank you!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Wow! Darcy's reaction to the freedom that is Elizabeth was breathtaking! To see such a reserved man overwhelmed with yearning....well, I want more! LOL

As for Caroline, she is most unladylike. Snooping in Darcy's mail, snatching it from his reach. Makes one wonder where she learned her feminine wiles from. Blech.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Oh yes that was a beautiful description of Lizzy having her fun, and Darcy secretly appreciating her beauty and joy

Are the letters going to be a motivational push for him to pursue Lizzy? Will there be anymore misunderstanding between them. Do tell Ellen!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Better and better!

I am impatient for more, how is little Georgie getting on? Can not wait for This Darcy and This Elizabeth to come to an understanding, but I suppose I shall have to wait. It is the nature of fiction to keep us waiting for what we most desire. Really I dont know why I tourture myself with the waiting. It must be a great compliment to yourself and all the authors that so many of us keep coming back for more! Excellent writing. Thanks for sharing.

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Ellen G, Just thought I would drop a line to tell you "Great Job" I'm really enjoying another great story that has come to us on this wonderful site. A Great Big THANKS also to Renee and the rest of the authors Here at Mrs. Darcy's Story Site too. Keep the story's coming.

julia42

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

chapter 3 is up. Enjoy!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Oh Darcy, stop being a stubborn ass and use the Lucas' dinner to be nice to Lizzy!

Poor Georgina, she don't know what she's getting herself into. I can only hope that the cad of that husband will be killed off the story soon!

At least we are now sure that there'll be no George to poison Lizzy's mind. So Darcy has the all-clear to pursue her hehehe...go man!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

I like Gio's plan that Georgiana should be a widow, and preferably before she gets pregnant! That'd fix most of the problems.

As for Darcy, he clearly doesn't trust himself in Elizabeth's presence...wants to pounce on her, in fact! Can't wait to see what you have in store for us, Ellen!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Dear Ellen,

I wanted to tell you that I'm hooked on this story and I come to this site almost everyday to see if you have updated. Unfortunately I don't have so much time to read all the stories and books I'd like (but then who does? ) so I only read WIPs that really catch my attention and this one has got me completely. The idea is so original, I think I've only seen one other fic that has Wickham marrying Georgiana, at DWG, but even if I haven't read that one yet, the blurb suggest your story is different and already captivating.

Thanks for sharing your gift and thank to Renée too for keeping this wonderful site, where I confess I've been lurking for some time but without reading much (because of RL). I plan to do so in future and I'll also try to delurk more often.

Thanks again for sharing, and I look forward to the next chapter!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Maria Teresa,

Welcome, and thanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts! Your posting came at just the right time, when I was having one of those "why am I doing this anyway?" moments.

By the way, I started as a lurker too, albeit at a different site. Before I knew it I had written a couple of vignettes, and now I'm on my second full-length story (have you read "The Worst that Could Happen" yet?). Beware! Reading and writing fanfic may become habit-forming!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

"Beware! Reading and writing fanfic may become habit-forming!"

I think that's an understatement! lol

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

May I respectfully request when we might see the next chapter? Not to be pushy or anything....cuz, it's not like I'm addicted or anything...Just cuz I check this site about 5 times a day for updates doesn't mean I'm addicted...duz it?

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Chapter 4 is complete and awaits only some spare time from our dear (and very busy) Renee to post it.

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Hi again, Ellen, thanks for your answer!

No, I haven't read "The Worst That could Happen" yet, because from the very introduction it seemed to have lots of angst for me (I'm a bit of an angst-wimp, you see... ). But now that it's complete and I could take a peep at the end and see it wasn't that "ansgty" (isn't it abominable how I cheat? ) I suppose I can tolerate very well the angst now, knowing that all ends well ... . And it's a good way to wait for chapter 4 of HBK... so wait to hear from me again!

So reading and writing fanfic may become habit-forming? He, he, I didn't know about writing, but about reading, it IS and understatement! I've been reading fanfics for about 4 years now, only not at this site, but I'm endeavoring to remedy that now...

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Dear Ellen and fans. I promise I'll post the new chapter tonight. I actually can't wait myself, but I'm so busy lately that it takes me a bit longer than normally the case!

Patience, my dears, patience!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

"Tonight" has become "this afternoon"... Dear fans, chapter 4 is up.

Dear Ellen, I wish you a fantabulous and safe trip to my favourite country (apart from my own ) and hope it will inspire you!



Renée

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

I'm unable to get chapter four, anyone else having trouble?

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

oh my i now see it has only been ten minutes since you posted that!! I'll try to show some patience

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Refreshing your page helps too, my dear.

Enjoy!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Doh!!! Darcy got caught nodding off!! The sparks he and Elizabeth throw off eachother are amazing....and the seed of the thought of Elizabeth as his wife has taken root, as well. But, how will Lizzy respond to him? We haven't seen inside Lizzy's head yet.

Thanks Ellen! Thanks Renee!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

This is so cute! The more Darcy tried to resist Lizzy, the more he has fallen into the lure of her charm

Now, very eager to see how he's going to survive when Lizzy is staying over at Netherfied, that is, if Ellen, your story goes along that line

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Ah, Gio, you know exactly where this is headed!!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Lovely!!

Poor Darcy! I'm really beginning to feel pity for him, especially when he puts his foot on his mouth whenever he talks with Elizabeth!

But it's wonderful to see all his efforts to resist her charm come to naught! He certainly is in the middle before realizing he began!

Looking forward the next chapter!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Chapter 5 is up, my dears. Enjoy!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Thank you Renee! What a way to end a lovely sunday!

Now Ellen, I did not see that coming - Kitty revealed to all about Collins' intention . Darcy will now have to step up and do something to pursue Lizzy's hands, finally

Also Darcy hiding behind the chair, oh my, that was really funny!

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Wonderful chapter, Ellen !
Pour une fois, Darcy is forced to make his mind about a Miss Bennet sooner than Bingley..:-)
Can't wait for the development. Catching premise !

Merci, Ellen et bonnes vacances !

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

OH NO! This Mrs. Bennet has a wedding planned between Mr. Collins and Lizzy before they have even met! All right Darcy, it's time to turn on the charm and woo the second Miss Bennet or at least Mrs. Bennet to his suit. If he would speak directly to Mrs. Bennet concerning a match between himself and Elizabeth he is sure to win at least one Bennet's heart.

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Oh Ellen,
I am so excited about this story! I hope that Mr. Darcy can come to the conclusion that he is in love with Elizabeth and not think himself so high and mighty so they can come together soon! I also look forward to see who has the first heir! LOL! I'm really enjoying this version so keep up the great work!

Brandy

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Yay!!! Loved this chapter, Ellen! Poor Darcy! I wonder if the servants would talk if Darcy asked that chairs be placed conveniently along the halls for emergencies! LOL It is so fun to watch wave after wave of attraction wash over him and his helplessness to control it. As for Lizzy, not even a twinge of interest in him. Hmmmm... How truly crushing that would be for Darcy if he knew her thoughts or lack thereof.

I am eager to get a little more into Lizzy's head to see what exactly is going on with her.

You're doing a fabulous job, Ellen! I was so happy to see that you had another chapter done.

Re: "His Brother's Keeper" by Ellen G

Interesting. So there is something going to happen more quickly then at Austen. I hope it will be different, too, in the way that he is aware, that she doesn't like him that much.
Will he propose marriage of convenience? Will he tell her about his situation and his sister?
Waiting for the next chapter...

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