You have tied up almost everything very well in this chapter, Jan! And the implied message that Lady C could be secretly admiring George Darcy was quite a laugh hahha! Look forward to your next update!
Wow, this chapter was just full of information. I was surprised with Lady C's almost confession of her feelings for George Darcy. I'm glad everything is out in the open. Or at least I think everything is out. Plzzz post soon. Can't wait for the marriage and I do hope Lizzy talks with her father. It was very insightful of Darcy to notice that she was willing to forgive his father but not her own. Thanks!! Cindy
This chapter made me very, very happy! Thanks so much, Jan.
Lovely as always, Jan. I sincerely hope that Elizabeth reconciles with Mr. Bennet so he can walk her down the aisle at her wedding. I'd be in tears...
Jan, I was just reviewing previous posts -- and in response to your inquiring "yes, it is me, Christina that also posts at DWG" who refers to you as a "rockstar" and also, more importantly to me dubbed Sunday evenings as "Jan H Night" in my household. I have enjoyed this story like the throngs of your other loyalist. There are so many amazing stories and authors out here in fan fiction world -- and I personally have taken to keeping notes on the WIP I am following... but never have I had to with this story or any of your work for that matter. Always, the story is unique so I do not confuse it with some other story. Always, well written and never am I disappointed by the characters. Regardless of how far off the story may stray from canon, your Darcy and Elizabeth are always honor JA's originals (at least to me.) When I teasingly posted "Jan H is a rockstar" -- I of course meant it affectionately in response to the ever increasing number of comments/postings to your stories. It was amazing to me to notice every week how the story attracted even the most silent "lurkers" out to comment and give an opinion. It was an amazing phenomenon to experience this WIP with so many others -- and to feel a unity with everyone in this JAFF community... as we all waited in joyful hope for the next chapter. Truly, it has been a pleasure to read. And I humbly request, as selfishly as this is, you are not planning to rest after this story-- and get writing on another.
What wonderful comments, Jo, Frances, Eli, Gio, Cindy, Lucy, Tina, and Christina! All of you are so good to me.
Christina, I'm glad to know you're the same Christina from DWG. I still laugh at the "rock star" comment.
One more week, and this tale is through. Good thing because my house is going to collapse from neglect!
Well, I am sorry to hear that you have had to let your housekeeping go so that you could finish this work for all of out here... well, not that sorry. Personally, I find I come up with my best ideas when I am doing the mundane like housework or driving. So whatever it takes to get you're clever mind thinking up another story, I say "Go to it!"
Yes, you can imagine how much I've missed doing housework!
I, too, can work out plots while driving long distance, but not in our crazy local traffic. It takes total concentration to stay alive. I've found soaking in a hot tub as the very best inspiration for stories. Must be the major relaxation setting that does it.
Jan~ I've just started/finished reading the chapters that you have posted...I really enjoyed it. I love that your telling it, as if Lizzy herself would tell it...(i hope that makes since)...You should have seen me; i'm at work reading your story and me being the romantic that I am; have tears in my eyes because of the sad story that Peter Darcy tells and that Darcy and Lizzy finally realize that they can be together. I'm such a sap for love stories. I can't wait for the next posting. :)
Thank you, Catrina! I'm glad you like the story and that you are pleased that Lizzy is telling it. Yes, I understand about reading at work and having to hide tears. I can always plead that my allergies are acting up.
This was a most satisfying read, Jan. You really are a master of plot in this story, and the way your threads have come together is just very clever and, as always, beautifully written.
I particularly liked the progression, both of their journey, of time and spread across Darcy's final visits to people, whereby we are given pieces of the puzzle gradually – first with George Darcy’s letter, then we hear the missing diary pages are found, then how you combine Darcy summarizing things he has learned with reading excerpts from that diary, and finally we get his account of his meetings.
It's not an easy thing to do, to get so many things across, but you have used a combination of ways of telling the story that I find really wonderfully satisfying as a reader, but also that feel very real simply because of the creative and realistic way you did it.
As always, there were several LOL moments, some of my favourites as usual engendered by Mrs B:
QUOTE: I do not know who was happier to see us - the Gardiner children or Mamá.
That also created a wonderful visual image for me!
QUOTE: If one dismissed the merits of memory, one might have believed that she had favoured Mr. Darcy above all other men from the first night he appeared at the assembly ball in Meryton.
Very witty, very funny and very Jane Austen in style; I love it!
Like many of your faithful followers, I am sad about Lizzy's attitude towards her father; however, I also understand it, and I think you have an excellent way of expressing how this is for Lizzy.
QUOTE: Our shared amusement at the foibles of others, our proclivity for the same books, and our like sense of humour had set us apart from Mamá and my sisters.
Despite not being blood-related, there was clearly a real bond between the two of them. Whilst it's easy to see why she had little in common with the major part of her family, this similarity in the turn of their minds is what must make the break of trust so very hard to bear between her and Mr B. And we must not forget here that Lizzy is also very young, she is only 20 and has really had her whole world as she knows it turned upon its head.
QUOTE: Even the bond between Jane and me had never been the same as the one I had enjoyed with Papá.
And this for me sums that all up. We all know how close Lizzy is to Jane, but her relationship with her father (although obviously different) supercedes it in her eyes, so it is perfectly reasonable (even though unreasonable LOL) for her to acting so.
Despite that, of course, I did like her twinge of remorse when Darcy points out that she can forgive his father more easily... I do trust you, Jan, to make it all better in the end! ;)
QUOTE: I determined not to think on the matter, for I found it painful.
Oh so true. What a beautifully poignant but honest thought. Great writing.
And I really did like that George Darcy had wanted to take Elizabeth Willoughby and the child in. I didn't feel he was particularly weak not to... I think he the best he could in a very difficult situation.
But never mind that, let's talk Darcy! THIS was just plain sexy:
QUOTE: He spoke to her in a cordial manner, but his eyes never left mine.
Powerful visual image again, all evoked by one short sentence. You really have an amazing talent for that, and I postively swooned at that particular one!
Okay, again I've over-enthused, but I love your story - did you guess? LOL
Not looking forward to the next one now... because it's the last... :(
But of course I shall lap it up when it arrives! Many thanks, Jan!
Ah, Sandra, you are such a dear! I can't believe you take such pains to write an indepth review, but I really do love it.
I spent a lot of time on that chapter, and when it was finished, I wondered why I wrote all that. I figured most readers already knew the gist of it, so I feared that it would just be boring, and I'm sure some found it so. However, since I like for all the loose ends to be tied up, I posted it anyway.
By the way, I've been meaning to tell you that I'm reading Chapter 2 of "A Fair Prospect," and I am very impressed. You're a marvelous writer! I don't read fan fiction much at all when I'm writing - just don't have time - but now that Sins is ending, I'm looking forward to catching up on a lot of stories, and yours is at the top of my list.
Jan, we may well have had the 'gist' of it, but it is nothing to actually having the delight of reading all the details of the backstory.
As you may be able to tell, I take a lot from reading a well written story like yours. What I mean is, as well as reading for the pleasure of your story itself, I am also very interested in your writing. I believe it is your combination of methods for telling your story that makes it even more readable and even more real, if you understand what I mean.
I shall say quickly here (I have no intention of hijacking your review thread by talking of my own poor attempts, but I don't see any way of contacting you by email or PM) I am honoured you might read one of my stories, but I apologise in advance for my very slow WIP. You may well regret ever beginning it. I'm a little embarrassed that someone of your abilty and quality should read it, as the plot is hardly what one could call such, and I also apologise for the in-depth detail... it was not my original intent at all, but Lizzy and Darcy hijacked the story quite early on and now I seem to have no say at all.
Now, pretend I never put any of that here, whilst I get back to what I wanted to say.
Plot - the creativity of your plot is astounding. Its originality is of course a contributor to how interesting the story is, and the research and/or thought you put in to give authenticity to all aspects of it, be it the religious situation in that day, the locations you were taking your characters to or just the sheer emotional impact on each and every character is truly excellent. I am in awe of this particular storyline and the completely believable and readable way it has been presented to us.
Which brings me to character - writing new storylines around our favourite, or even less favourite, characters is challenge enough, especially if one is presenting them with a situation such as you did; however, you have not only succeeded, as I'm sure you can tell from the strong following your story has had, but you have done something that I admire very, very much, in the creation of totally credible AND totally diverse new characters. Every single one of yours leaps off the page as a living human being (well, less of the human for one particular one!), and I envy you the talent - in a good way - because there is only one reason they are this credible and alive - the quality of your writing.
Okay, I've done it again... I've rambled on and on... I apologise, and if there is a way to contact you rather than my cluttering up Renee's lovely Forum, please email me!
Thanks again, Sandra. You are such a dear! I've sent you an e-mail. Don't know why mine doesn't register here. Probably something I did wrong, I'm sure.
The last chapter of Sins of the Fathers has just been posted, my dears. Savour every word, it's so worth it.
And give Jan some love!
As I've posted on the What's New page, I sighed with contentment.
Thank you Jan, for all the loveliness you've given us.
FABULOUS STORY TELLING!!!
"It takes but a step to encounter disaster. A single event can change an ordinary day into a tragedy."
"I suppose," he said, removing his hat. "By the same token, however, a single event can make a horrid day into one more lovely than can be imagined. It is all in how one chooses to look at it."
Thank you Jan for taking me on a wonderful journey.
A wonderful ending to a superb story. I am sitting here with tears running down my cheeks, it was so moving.
Thank you so very much.
Another beautiful story, Jan! Everything is perfect and i love how you provide little details that brought the past to the present in your own special way. I'm sad to see it ends but glad that Lizzy has found true happiness with a man who knew her so well. Great storyline and writing, it has been a good long touching ride! Would love to read more of your works in the future! Thank you for the story
Thank you Jan for this wonderful, uplifting story.
It is so beautifully written and the characters and their language are so vivid I feel I know them.
I have enjoyed all your writing, but this one is quite special.
Thank you, Jan, for a wonderful story!
Ahhhhh, what a peaceful ending. I truly loved this story, Jan. Once again, let me tell you what a wonderful writer you are. I always love it when authors give Elizabeth and Darcy boys. I did get a little fearful when Mr. & Mrs. Bennet were taking the boys by themselves. I was afraid something tragic was going to happen. Also, through your writing, I could feel Elizabeth's melancholy. No other husband could have been as patient with her as Darcy. Oh yea, I also loved how you added the obvious clues to E's parents. Of course, if they would have discovered those, we wouldn't have had such a wonderful story. Thanks again!!! Cindy
I've said it elsewhere before..but I feel the need to say it again .....I love how you wrapped everybody with love and happinesss in this chapter..D&E is of course in 7th heaven in the most satisfying way.....and Peter Darcy and even Ms Willoughby are now happier..except for of course for Sir Linton & Mr&Mrs Wickham....well......
Jan...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all your sacrifices to entertain us lot....
Jan H after reading this I was in tears. Sigh, such peace and loviless.It's the perfect ending. Thanks a million Jan H for sharing your talent & story with us.
Bravo! The last chapter was so touching...and the epilogue so sweet. I shall now print the entire story so I can read it all in one sitting and savor it...thanks, Jan!
Thank you! This was so sweet and tender, that I almost cryed at you skillful story telling! Such a great story as all the rest of your stories. I can hardly wait til your next brainstorm! All the best!
Hi! I have loved ALL of Jan H's stories and didn't start this as I knew it would be torture waiting for updates so I'm in the enviable position of getting ready to read it start to finish. I'd love to print it to read though and was wondering if it is somewhere in a little more printable format. If not, I'm happy to read it online when I can either way!
Thanks to Jan H. for writing and to Renee for posting! Such pleasure you both bring to so many (and all the writers for that matter....)
if it is somewhere in a little more printable format
I'm afraid not, Maura.
What you could do, is copy the chapters and paste them in Word.
Your story was mentioned last night in another forum by one of your betas, and, having read your other stories, I was intrigued enough to take a look. Luckily, I had decided to take Veterans' Day off and could sleep in, since I finished reading it last night at 2:15 am.
Congratulations on an excellent job. Just excellent. I have read many authors with multiple books published who have not done nearly as good a job on all facets of their work, especially the most difficult task, that of getting the reader to willingly suspend disbelief. You did it all, Lady. Good job.
I have many times said that you are one of my favourite story tellers. I concur with Colin above that the mayority of the online authors do many times much better than published ones. I enjoyed this ride immensely,though I confess at the begining I was a little uncofortable with the concept. But everything turned out very well in the end, except for the horrible treatment my dear Colonel Fitzwilliam has suffered in your hands. Oh, well. But at least he made it unscathed this time, and did not get kill in action or suffered a horrible death.
I sincerely hope you still have more passion in store to render in black and white. I will be more than willing to read anything you write in the future as always.
What a beautiful story. from start to finish, excellent! I loved the epilogue, with Elizabeth reflecting on how a day can change someone's life.
In the midst of all the melancholy and passion, I found something that made me grin:
"and the colonel displayed not the slightest regret at having lost my hand, an affront to my ego I bore as best I could. "
I just wanted to tell you how I enjoyed Sins Of The Father. It was well written,exciting and I hope to see future stories from such an excellant writer.Keeping up with the stories to completion is a sure sign to me of a responsible talented writer,so please continue to bring us more of your story lines that are so intriging. Thanks,DLSchickel
Hi, I finished it yesterday but didn't have time to post. Just also wanted to be on the list stating my love of this story and your writing. I love how you write most of your stories in the first-person with Elizabeth's POV. It is very refreshing! I think this has been asked before, but if you do decide to write another story, have you thought about doing it from Darcy's POV in first-person? I know it may be difficult doing it from a guy's perspective but it would be deliously interesting. Thanks again for your wonderful writing and all of your hard work! KC
Great...just great! I'm sad that this story has ended, but it ended well. Thank you for sharing! When should we expect another story?
Oh, my, where to begin? I have so many people to thank, not the least of whom are all of you who have been so kind with your comments.
But first, I must thank Renee once again for creating this beautiful website and for including my stories here. She is beyond generous, supportive, and encouraging to writers.
Then thank you to my lovely betas who have slogged through all my mistakes and re-writes. To Ellen G, who was willing to clean up my stuff when she is so busy helping other writers and still finding the time to post her own wonderful story. To Linnea, who was my rock as well as my conscience. And to Debbie S, who never failed to write funny, cryptic reactions to my words along with all the corrections. You three are the best!
I also owe Ali a world of thanks for being my Irish rose. I couldn't have written anything about the Emerald Isle without her. Others from Firthness answered my queries about Catholicism in the time of JA, as well as how to get D&E to Ireland and back. Thank you!
Now, as to recent comments:
Stevie, you're a fairly new reader to my stuff, but a wonderful cheerleader! Thank you for all your support.
Jo, Gio, Juliet, and Annabella, your comments touched me probably much more than my story affected you. Thank you!
Cindy, I happen to like giving D&E boys, too - maybe because I have three sons (but then I also love my daughters). And you're right that this story could have ended a lot sooner if only...but then, I wouldn't have had near as much fun writing it. Thank you for your comments on this work and on past stories.
Annj, this ending is rather bittersweet. Since the entire tone of the thing was dark, I just couldn't give it a light, happy-happy ending. JIt didn't seem honest. Thank you for your many comments.
Sandy, I'm glad you appreciated my corny humor. I tried to inject as much as I could in such a sad tale. Thank you for noticing.
Tina and Maura, thank you for even thinking of printing this story to re-read. That is a true compliment.
Roberta, thank you for your comments and for hoping I write again. Right now, I'm afraid I'm brain-dead.
Colin! What a nice surprise to see your name! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my story in one big gulp and for your wonderful comments.
Eli, thank you! You've become such a beloved author that I'm quite flattered at your comments. Sorry about what I did to the dear colonel. This is the first time I've ever written him in a less than pleasant manner, as I really like him very much.
Leia (hope I didn't misspell your name), I'm glad you found a smile in the midst of the sadness. Thank you for your many comments.
DL, I'm so glad you enjoyed Sins. So far, I've always posted a story on a regular basis until it's completed. That's just the way I prefer to do it, personally.
And Catrina and KC, thank you for your sweet comments. Right now, I'm not working on anything new - just absolutely bone dry, nothing in my head. Oops, that didn't sound right, did it? KC, I did start a modern story one time from Darcy's viewpoint, but never got past the first chapter. I'd love to write one from inside his thoughts, but not sure I'm the person to do so.
Well, now that I've taken up way too much room, I'll close, still basking in the warmth of your dear comments. Thanks, everyone!
Jan, my apologies for the delay in reviewing. I shall email you my full thoughts (and they are very full indeed) but I just wanted to record here that I have so enjoyed the ride of reading a WIP by you for the first time!
This story was superb. The plot was creatively presented, highly original and very gripping. The balance of the whole story from beginning to end was perfect. I think the Epilogue was just spot on... I really appreciated that it wasn't sugar-coated, that the live-changing aspects of the story and their impact upon Elizabeth became a part of her, changed her to some extent - I found it very realistic, and to see her strive for happiness beyond what her innermost fears were felt very true to the character of JA's original heroine.
As always in these later chapters, I cried several times, but some of them this time were happy tears!
Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us, and I long to hear that you have started work on a new project for a new year!
Dear Jan H,
I would like to congratulate you for your great story. It´s unique. I have to say that I have read a lot of fanfiction stories and this is the first time I have cried. I´m not complaining, I mention it because in my opinion your writing is so good that I have felt their anguish and at the end their happiness.
Thank you for sharing it
I have so many things to say and so little time! First of all, THANK YOU!!!! You always have been and always will be one of my favorite authors. Your stories are absolutely incredible, and you're the only author that has managed to make me cry.
I'm sorry that it took me so long to read this, but 1: I'm an angst wimp and 2: school was getting extremely busy right when the story started becoming happier. However, last night I found time to start it, and I finished it today. In fact, I couldn't back away from the computer. Thanks again, and I hope that you write more in the future.
Just wanted to say that I enjoyed the ending (especially the final line about beauty as a parallel to the title) and the story overall. It's the most original barrier between Darcy and Elizabeth I've ever read, and the ride was fantastic.
Oh dear, im late. Even so Jan, let me thank you for this wonderful tale on my favourite couple. You did a marvelous job of keeping us hooked these past few months. And I have had such great time experiencing all that you put us through, the tears of joy and otherwise. So thank you for everything . Take a break and do come back with another wonderful story. You do know we all are waiting, dont you? Take care and God bless
Thank you, everyone!
Sandra, no need to apologize, thinking you are late in reviewing this. I got your wonderful e-mail and will respond soon.
Sande, Sammy, Sammie, and Vidya, I loved your comments. I hope I didn't make you cry too much, and I understand the fear of angst, Sammy. I rarely have the courage to read WIPs.
This week I sent the story to my oldest daughter who also loves to write. She said, "Oh, Mom, the ending reminded me of you – I have to say this – you lost love but found it again and because of that you never took it for granted." In just a few words, she said what it took me 18 chapters to write.
My Thanksgiving treat was to read this story start to finish over my long weekend and I was not disappointed at all - I had to pace myself though in order to make it last (I'm the same way with chocolate! )
The story was wonderful, but I wasn't surprised as I do think that Jan H. is one of the very best among the D&L fiction writers out there. Jan, you have a remarkable ability to make the reader feel the emotions of your characters and I'm sure were were all feeling Lizzy and Darcy's anguish and despair at several points throughout the story. Similarly, there was elation when they looked each other in the eye to declare they were not brother and sister and the emotion and affection that was described as part of that encounter were also felt as well as read! Thanks for neglecting your housework to write this story, but more importantly, for sharing it with us!
Thank you so much, Maura! Your comment was a real treat for me.
Lovely Story! I really missed reading at Mrs. Darcy. I'm so glad I've been given the time again to endulge in these beautiful stories. Thanks Jan!
Thank you, Jess! Welcome back to Mrs. Darcy's. She has some of the best fan fiction around.
Sorry about what I did to the dear colonel. This is the first time I've ever written him in a less than pleasant manner, as I really like him very much.
Oh Jan! Never mind Richard. Our greatest hero will always be Darcy. Richard had his go in Love Calls Twice. Enough with that!
Your story was really lovely. I enjoyed every word. I only hope you keep writing. So I take it that your daughter writes too? Fanfiction?
Thank you, Eli!
Yes, my daughter writes, too, but not fan fiction. I've tried to interest her, but she's just too busy with RL to take the time. When she was at the university, she won first place in their annual short story contest! I think I was prouder of her than she was.
Over the last day or so I've read both The Sins of the Father and An Arranged Marriage, and I thought I'd let you know how much I enjoyed them. They were intriguing and gripping, and have made me want to read more P&P AUs (these were the first I had ever read).
Thanks for writing!
Thank you, Lanta! Welcome to the world of P&P AUs - there's truly a world of good stories by lots and lots of authors. Have fun!